Hopeful, Paralyzing Fear

I'm scared
Of what will be,
Who I'll be.
I'm afraid
Of what could be
Who I'd be.
When time stops,
When laughter quiets,
When tears flow,
And regrets flourish.
I might run
At least if I didn't have hope,
The slightest hope that maybe,
Just maybe,
I might cry for joy
When things might just go
The way I hope they will,
Even though I know
They just might not,
And even though I know
That just might kill me.